Here was my chance. I was face to face with the big man and I couldn’t think of a thing. I sat there, dumbstruck. I tried to make my mouth work, but nothing came out. The surly elf began to drag me away and Santa said “How about a nice gel saddle?” I nodded dumbly and the elf tossed me onto the iced slide.

What was I doing?

Somehow I regained the use of my muscles and my voice. I grabbed the edge of the slide, looked up at Santa and declared, “I want an Italian-built, Columbus-tubed fixed-gear road bike!”

I’d done it!

Santa looked down at me with a twinkle in his eye and a chuckle in his throat. As his big, black boot kicked me down the ice slide I heard him say, “A fixed-gear? You’ll blow your knees out!”

See the full story: http://www.flahute.com/2008/12/24/a-cyclists-christmas-story-redux-ad-absurdum/