I am 99% sure that this missed connection is about me. I’m the only gal getting on the bike car on this train. I ride this train every single day, see the same people get off the train every day, and I am fairly certain I know which dude this is. Either way, I’m stoked. I’ve waited my whole life for a missed connection. And now I will do absolutely nothing about it.
Step 1:
Get a spaghetti-strainer and several small sponges. Soak the sponges in salt-water and paste them to the inside of the spaghetti-strainer. Place the strainer on your head. Find a busy road. Stand by the side of the road and do deep knee-bends for 8 hours. This will acclimatize you to a day’s ride.
Step 2:
Take some 200-grit sandpaper and rub your rear-end and the insides of your legs for about 20 minutes. Rinse with salt-water. Repeat. Then, sit on a softball for 8 hours. Do this daily for at least 8 days.
Step 3:
Each day, take two twenty-dollar bills and tear them into small pieces. Place the pieces on a dinner-plate, douse them with lighter fluid and burn them. Inhale the smoke (simulating car-fumes). Rub the ashes on your face. Then go to the local motel and ask them for a room.
Step 4:
Take a 1-quart plastic bottle. Fill it from the utility sink of a local gas-station (where the mechanics wash their hands). Let the bottle sit in the sun for 2 or 3 hours until it’s good and tepid. Seal the bottle up (kinda, sorta) and drag it through a ditch or swamp. Walk to a busy road. Place your spaghetti-strainer on your head and drink the swill-water from the bottle while doing deep knee-bends along the side of the road.
Step 5:
Get some of those Dutch wooden-shoes. Coat the bottoms with 90-W gear-oil. Go to the local supermarket (preferably one with tile floors). Put the oil-coated, wooden shoes on your feet and go shopping.
Step 6:
Think of a song from the 1980’s that you really hated. Buy the CD and play 20 seconds of that song over and over and over for about 6 hours. Do more deep knee-bends.
Step 7:
Do your deep knee-bends for about 4 hours with the salt-soaked spaghetti-strainer on your head, while you drink the warm swill-water and listen to the 80’s song over and over (I would recommend “I’m a cowboy/On a STEEL horse I ride!” by Bon Jovi). At the end of 4 hours, climb onto the hood of a friend’s car and have him drive like a lunatic down the twistiest road in the area while you hang on for dear life.
Step 8:
Wash your car and wipe it down with a chamois-cloth. Make sure you get a healthy amount of residual soap and road-grit embedded in the chamois. Put the chamois on your body like a loin-cloth, then wrap your thighs and middle-section with cellophane. Make sure it’s really snug. Paint yourself from the waist down with black latex paint. Cut an onion in half and rub it into your arm-pits. Put on a brightly colored shirt and your Dutch oil-coated wooden shoes and go shopping at a crowded local mall.
Step 9:
Take everything that’s important to you, pack it in a Nylon corodura bag and place it in the shower. Get in the shower with it. Run the water from hot to cold. Get out and without drying off, go to the local convenience store. Leave the wet, important stuff on the sidewalk. Go inside and buy $10 worth of Gatorade and Fig Newtons.
Step 10:
As Archimedes hypothesized: “Use a simple lever to move the Earth from one place to another”. After doing that, go around your house and lift heavy things that you never imagined a person could lift. Surprise yourself. Do 1,000 sit-ups. Then 10,000. Eat lunch. Repeat. Argue with every girlfriend / boyfriend you’ve ever known and be RIGHT. Solve all the problems of politics, faith and economics. At the end of the day, get into a huge tub filled with hot soapy water and relax, because tomorrow is another BIG DAY ON THE BIKE!
Step 11:
Buy a huge map of the entire country. Spread it in front of you. Have a friend hold a hair-dryer in your face. Stick your feet in taffy and try to pull your knees to your chest while your friend tries to shove you into a ditch or into traffic with his free hand. Every 20 minutes or so, look at the huge map and marvel at the fact that you have gone nowhere after so much hard work and suffering. Fold the map in front of a window-fan set to “High”.
This was just an accidental video that a co-worker took when we were fooling around in the parking lot of our hotel in Pasadena on the Tour of CA.
Nothing special but my surprised, “oh shit!” exclamation kinda cracks me up.
For the few of you that read this, I just wanted to remind y’all that I will be on the Tour of California beginning this weekend.
You can find me in the events area at the Specialized tent. Come and say hi if you happen to be at a finishing city!
I will be in the following cities:
Saturday, February 14 - Sacramento
Sunday, February 15 - Santa Rosa
Monday, February 16 - Santa Cruz
Tuesday, February 17 - Modesto
Wednesday, February 18 - Clovis
Thursday, February 19 - Paso Robles
Friday, February 20 - Solvang
Saturday, February 21 - Pasadena
Sunday, February 22 - Escondido
This was originally the 25 random things meme that went around Facebook.
1. For the first time in my adult life, I think I have a job that I really like.
2. I’m a complete movie and television snob. I can’t stand most big Hollywood flicks. I think that if a TV show has a laugh track, it’s automatically going to be lame (with the exception of Seinfeld).
3 I’m completely obsessed with planes and plane crashes. I love the show “Air Crash Investigation.” I have nightmares about plane crashes. Yet I’m not afraid of flying and I still love all those plane crash documentaries.
4. I kiss my dog on the mouth… Even though I probably saw her licking her asshole 10 minutes earlier.
5. I wish that I had a British accent. I prefer British spelling and I would use it regularly if I could get away with it.
6. Completing the 545 miles of the AIDS Lifecycle is one of my proudest accomplishments.
7. I failed my first driving test the first time but passed my motorcycle license test on the first try. I would really like to get a pilot license.
8. There have been several instances on bike rides where I am certain that I am doing what I was meant to be doing.
9. I’m incredibly competitive but I try to hide it. Probably not well.
10. I really hate winter. If it was up to me, it would be 80 degrees every day. One of my most favorite things in the world is being able to go outside at night without a jacket.
11. I love classical music, including opera. I also love musicals. I also used to play the piano and the violin.
12. I’m a really fast reader and I consider myself to be very well read.
13. I weigh same weight on my drivers license. Not many women can say that. When I got my license at 17, I’m pretty sure I lied about the weight. This might be the first time in ages that the weight is actually correct.
14. I hate confrontation.
15. I think I have a superior palate to most. I don’t trust/believe certain people when they say they like a restaurant/food because I know they have shitty taste.
16. When I was a kid, purple was my absolute favorite color. Now, I can’t stand it.
17. I get really scared of the dark sometimes. Like, when I go camping. Or when I wake up from a bad dream.
18. I’ve always been an atheist, even as a child. I wasn’t raised with any religion so I never really knew what it was or what it meant. When I was old enough to understand that LOTS of people are religious and what it was all about, I thought the whole concept was really silly.
19. I still have both of my American Girl dolls (Molly and Felicity) and their clothes. I paid for Felicity myself and I will always remember that she was $88.00.
20. I can’t stand the smell of air fresheners, laundry detergent, most perfumes, most soaps, shampoos, candles etc. I really hate that fake smell that tries to make something smell like something else.
21. I’m scared to get old.
22. I’m always afraid that I’m going to fall down stairs, so I always take them really, really slowly.
23. If it’s yellow, I let it mellow.
24. I’m pretty good at figuring out how to fix things.
25. Once, I got a citation on the light rail for not having a ticket. I never paid the fine and then there was a bench warrant out for my arrest. That was the most expensive train ride I’ve ever taken.
26. I have an incredibly high pain tolerance. I have a hard time giving sympathy for those that complain about things that would probably be relatively minor to me.
27. I think My Chemical Romance is a really good band.
28. I didn’t really like peanut butter and jelly until I was an adult.
29. I like flat soda, room temperature drinks and soggy cereal.
30. Lots of people claim that they have to poop after talking to me.
This picture rules my life. Alberto Contador and Tom Boonen. And dolphins. 
This is pretty good too. But not as magical. Tommeke isn’t looking so pleased. Contador has a “connection” with the dolphin. I can see it in his eyes. And his mouth.
I can’t believe it. I got hired for a position with Specialized bikes! One part that’s so unbelievable is the fact that I got hired anywhere with this poor economy. The other amazing part is that I got selected for the job that I wanted the most.
Emily McIntire, welcome to Specialized Bicycle Components!
Finally, this bike is finished. It rides like a dream.
Building this bike was quite a processes. It was sold to me from a guy from Craigslist that sold me my Bianchi. He emailed me out of the blue and said he had a really cool bike in my size. He cut me a fantastic deal and I had a new project on my hands.
I spent a couple of months doing some very aggressive ebaying. This bike came with a Campagnolo Daytona crankset, which does not really exist anymore. Campy changed this line to the “Centaur” line. I was determined to get the matching Daytona parts. I managed to get Daytona brakes, shifters, and front and rear derailleurs. I had to go with a Veloce cassette and chain. The wheels came with the bike and they are a set of Ambrosios. It also came with an ugly stem which I will eventually replace. It’s an odd 22.2 size so it might take me a while to find one in the right size and length. I got everything else from the LBS or online. I need to get new pedals. Those ugly Shimanos aren’t doing this Italian beast any good.
This bike is super responsive, due to the incredibly straight fork. It’s a fantastic fit and it’s the smallest bike I’ve ever owned, coming in at a whopping 47cm.
Here is what I started out with. This is the original picture that the seller sent to me. 
All the bits and pieces. 
With all the crap that happened at the end of 2008, it’s easy to forget I accomplished some important things (for me) throughout the year.
-Completed the AIDS Lifecycle. Rode every single inch of the 545 mile ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles.
-Completed the MS Waves to Wine Ride. This two-day ride was quite strenuous, with 100 miles on day one (and over 11,000 ft of ascent) and 75 miles on the second day.
-Numerous mornings of waking up early before work to get in a training ride or run.
-I got really into yoga around August or September and I have stuck with it. It’s made me so much stronger and flexible.
-Bought a fancy Digital SLR camera and taught myself to take some pretty neat pictures.
-Mountain biked the Flume Trail and Rim Trail in Tahoe.
-Got much better at mountain biking in general.
-After the car accident in February, I pretty much stopped driving except when I absolutely had to borrow a car for something.
-Learned how to drive a motorcycle and passed the MSF course with a pretty good score.
-Made some really good new friends.
-(Mostly) kept up with my blog!
Apparently my dad thinks I’m a communist too. Amazon.com: Blacklisting it’s customers and tearing families apart since 1994.
